this is an hour i used to know well… by the time it would be 3am or so… i figured i had about another 1 1/2 hours left in me to work. i haven’t been up at this hour for quite some time. tonight, i went to bed about 10pm. couldn’t keep my eyes open. i was awakend by quincy climbing in bed with me, and me realizing i have a horrible tummy ache. i should just let myself throw up and be done with it… but instead i am trying to think of something that might calm it. so i came to surf a little on the internet… and ended up on jenni bowlin’s site. (this is the papercrafting kit that has my stuff in it! ) i think you can pretty much chalk it up to my pregnant emotions that i can hardly control… but it totally made me cry! i think for 2 reasons really…. 1. i am so happy for jenni! she is following her heart… taking a risk and doing something that she believes in. she is freakishly talented… and such a gorgeous person. 2. she included some of my products in her kit for feb., and i think that seeing her (and faye) use my stuff in such a stunning way… kindof was both a thrill and a little jolt of acceptance. it’s hard to explain the emotions i feel when i see my products in use on pages… it shouldn’t have such an effect on me… i mean, i have been designing product for years. and when it was ‘making memores’ product… i certainly was happy to see it used… but for some odd reason… it feels really different now. maybe because it started from nothing. maybe because it has my name on it. maybe because it is a result of so much work, risk, frustration and determination by so many people.
who knows… maybe i just needed a good crY! sometimes you do! but i am overwhelmed right now, with tremendous feelings of graditude… so grateful for the opportunity i have had to prove this to myself…my biggest critic! … so grateful for kevin carpenter, pres. of advantus.. cause he really did/does believe in me! even when i tell him i am OUT OF IDEAS! which is what i told him when he signed me! …so tremendously grateful for the support of the people around me…eric, em, jodi, liz, my children, mine and eric’s family, and my next door neighbor that probably sees more of my kids than she cares to! … so grateful, and tremendously humbled when people tell me that i have connected with them, inspired them and how much they enjoy what i do. my list goes on, and on and on and on………………………….
so thank you jenni. for making my stuff look so good! and making me cry! i needed that…
i wish you all the best in your endeavor! thank you jared, for encouraging her, lifting her and extending her capabilities! (not that jared is reading this blog… but man, husbands make or break this stuff!)
by the way…since i’m already crying, and it’s 4:30am…and i am talking about how grateful i am… there is someone i must celebrate today. i could not survive with out emily waters. she has got to be the hardest working, most dedicated and determined person i know. i believe it was she that got me my job at MM, and she has been with me almost from the very beginning of the heidi swapp brand. she threw all caution to the wind, and moved here…started a whole new life because she believed in me. she is such a true and loyal friend to me and my family. she would do anything for me… and does. today is emily waters’ birthday. (man, she is going to be mad at me for putting this on my blog!) i could never express my love and graditude to her for all that she has done. believe me when i tell you, i don’t make anything easy! her email address is: email@example.com if you’d like to wish her a happy day!
well, the pretzels have helped to calm my stomach. but i am wide awake… i think i will write in my journal!