guilt

guilt

I keep sitting down intending to blog and getting distracted! It’s already wed. of our beach week. Time flies when you’re having fun. And we are! I mean simply getting out of the heat, is a party! It’s so nice to drive w/ the windows rolled down and go outside during daylight hours! It is hot here.. I was walking up from the water and the sand was so hot that it totally burned the under-side of my toes and they were totally blistered! Sheesh! And, of course, as I always do-every year… got a total burn. And that hurts too. I guess that is what I get for not being in the sun all summer.
I will tell you this… I am feeling GUILTY.
I haven’t been able to get myself to work… I have developed a real problem …
“LOST”.
Holy cow. Ok- I have heard that it was an addictive show… and I have even witness the addiction in my husband, and I was SO happy when he finally got trough the whole thing.
He had downloaded it to my video ipod for his most recent trip to china. So both seasons of LOST were on there… eric’s been monopolizing the unit.. which was fine, as I have just been soo busy. But on the drive over here, I started watching.
It’s been an issue ever since. There are like 25 episodes per season, and 2 seasons. At 45 minutes each—it’s like a straight 2.5 days worth of show to watch. It’s so bad. I am being totally anti-social, and not even working on my scrapbook stuff, my work or anything else I am supposed to be doing. (like taking care of my kids, getting them food/drink etc)… I am thoroughly enjoying myself. But I feel guilty! LOL. I keep telling them, the sooner I get through it the better.
I do think that sitting on the beach is a great muse.
This year, I don’t really have to STRESS about my kids. I mean, I am constantly doing the ‘headcount’ thing, and stuff like that, but they all are totally fine playing in the waves and sand… doing their own thing. (next year will be a different story). I find myself just staring out and watching the show as ideas pop through my head. I sit there with my notebook and just jot down the fragmented thoughts and ideas that bounce through. It’s been a LONG time since I felt like I could just sit and imagine stuff. It’s important for me to do that from time to time. I feel so lucky to have this opportunity. While the ocean babysits.
I do feel guilty tho. My team is in Chicago getting ready for the show. I thought that I was going to be fine with it. Missing it… just this time. But I can feel my tension, and anxiety. My mind racing, thinking of all the things that they are having to deal with, without me there. Sigh. I am trying to let that go.
But… to my girls there in chi-town: em, liz, jodi and kara… thanks so so much!
I appreciate your willingness to be there!! How cute are the silver shoes?? Please take pics!!
I know everyone is waiting for the water photo contest! We do have a winner… but I have to set up the blast for the newsletter.. but everyone has been so wrapped up in the show, it’s been an issue! I am SO sorry!
Hang in there..
Ok, hopefully pics later..

18 Comments
  • Diane McVey

    19 July, 2006 at 11:53 am Reply

    It’s great to hear you are having a wonderful family vacation! And like you said, it will be different next year with the new little one! 🙂 (Different, but oh so fun!) It’s so good that you can relax and let those ideas float by, capturing them on your paper, while enjoying the sun and surf! I’m sure the show will go on without a hitch, your crew will take care of it…but I realize how hard it is not to be there with them! Have a splendiferous day, and take care of that sunburn! 🙂

  • Sara Amuso

    19 July, 2006 at 12:44 pm Reply

    I totally hear you about LOST, I got hooked on the first season, now you can understand why we get on you about keeping your blog updated — it has those addictive qualities with us! I’m not at CHA either this time around, I miss it, but it wasn’t in the cards…opted for your Creative Escape instead! It will be much more fun!
    I can’t wait to have my own week at the beach, first week of August!
    Take care of your burn!!

  • Grace Palazzolo

    19 July, 2006 at 1:19 pm Reply

    Ok we are “addicted” to your Blog as you in Lost! hehe…So where are the pics of the silver shoes? you know you can’t mention stuff and get away with it! Have a blast enjoy having the excuse to be lazy and addicted to things!

  • Amber C

    19 July, 2006 at 1:22 pm Reply

    So glad you are getting a break from this heat! Its a scorcher!
    I am so addicted to LOST as well. I don’t go to any activities or other things on Wed. nights…lol… Well if its a kid function I’ll tape LOST but I don’t schedule anything else during LOST. Thats my one guilty pleasure 😀
    Have a fun trip and relax while you can!!

  • suetreiber

    19 July, 2006 at 1:58 pm Reply

    Lost is such an awesome show! Aren’t you glad you joined in? Wishing I was at the beach too…

  • Heather Bailey

    19 July, 2006 at 2:21 pm Reply

    Right now, for me, it’s Gilmore Girls. Witty, witty, witty. Alicia over at Posy Gets Cozy ( //rosylittlethings.typepad.com/posie_gets_cozy/ ) mentioned something about the writers of the show. This got me curious, so I checked out a couple of disks. Two months later and my husband’s addicted as well — We’re in Season 5. I completely relate.
    Enjoy your freedom while it lasts! And watch out for that sun. This happened to my mom: bad sunburn at fullterm = water retention = larger baby to deliver — yikes!

  • Jolene George

    19 July, 2006 at 3:27 pm Reply

    Don’t feel guilty Heidi. Right now you should be relaxing and enjoying yourself. In a few short weeks, life as you know it will forever change. It will be a wonderful thing.
    As for your sunburn…this may sound strange, but when I got sun burned real bad on vacation in Utah my husbands grandma put cows cream (heavy cream) on me and the burn was GONE when I woke up. You should give it a try…it works.
    //jolenegeorge.blogspot.com/

  • Vee

    19 July, 2006 at 4:50 pm Reply

    u need to relax and take a breathe
    don’t feel guily girl
    have fun at the beach!

  • alison

    19 July, 2006 at 7:13 pm Reply

    oh i hear you on the “LOST” addiction. i saw the first episode (kind of by accident) and i have been hooked ever since. during the regular tv season my kids are in bed by 8pm sharp. and luckily i have tivo so i can still watch “american idol”. have fun at the beach. we got back a week and a half ago from ours in la jolla. reading your thoughts makes me miss the simplicity of beach vacations. enjoy!

  • Molly

    19 July, 2006 at 11:16 pm Reply

    You totally deserve to kick back … take it easy … dream! … and get ready for that new little one… the world is about to change again

  • Jennifer Pebbles

    20 July, 2006 at 2:00 am Reply

    I feel your pain about not going to the show, it is sad knowing that all your “friends” are there without you…I loved being at the show in Jan- missing out on Chicago sucks!lol!
    Of course, the highlight of the show was meeting you, so if you’re not going to be there this time, than I guess I am not missing much! lol
    Take care of your pregnant self in this heat wave!!

  • Pam

    20 July, 2006 at 6:23 am Reply

    LOL About LOST! I have a LOST Addict blinkie in my sig line online! 😉
    Be careful with the sun and that baby belly! 😉 enjoy the rest of your vacation!

  • cheryl wray

    20 July, 2006 at 9:47 am Reply

    You definitely need to RELAX–with your busy schedule, you need to treat yourself and feel no guilt!!! I totally hear ya about “Lost.” We kept hearing about it, but never got a chance to watch it (just too busy with 3 kids during a regular week), so my dh bought the first season for me on DVD. Then we downloaded all of this year’s from itunes and watched them all in like a week! They are so addictive. Just wait until you get to the end!!!!

  • Karen McConaughey

    20 July, 2006 at 10:29 am Reply

    Heidi, Heidi…I am SO with you girl on the LOST thing…heard a ton @ it while it was in season but never can sit down and watch tv for that long…plus didn’t need another addiction…last week we were kid free and i picked up the first couple episodes on DVD..the maddness struck, my dh and i stayed up till 2a.m. each night watching…which is great because NO commericals, just keeps going, so the way to go…can’t imagine what it must have been like for people watching it each week, the suspense….that would have so killed me. we have not had any sleep since..running home from work, feeding the kids early, baths and than we put in the next dvd…it’s bad. i told him last night we have to get throught these or else our life is going to start falling apart! anyhow, love your style, met you at cha-atlanta; would attach the pic of us but that would require searching on this laptop…attending the AZ escape…totally looking forward to it…have a good one!

  • cindy

    20 July, 2006 at 1:45 pm Reply

    Oh yes, LOST is SO addictive! Love it!! I think Cathy Z. just recently got addicted too. Perhaps there should be a support group for us LOST addicts. LOL!!

  • laura

    20 July, 2006 at 6:00 pm Reply

    Holy COW Heidi. . .check out my blog entry from a few days ago – we are totally living in the same LOST zone. We are getting the DVDs for season 1 from Netflix, watching the episodes as fast as we possibly can, and then eagerly awaiting the next DVD in the mail. Its SICK. SICK SICK SICK! (And giving me bizarre dreams at night, and allowing me to get NOTHING else done at night!) Glad to know I am not alone!

  • Monique

    20 July, 2006 at 7:50 pm Reply

    Will miss you here at CHA…but girl I am glad you are watching LOST. Jer and I did the same thing, both seasons in ONE week. It was a total obsession…good stuff. Can’t wait to hear your takes on it…I’m consumed by this show. You know I take tons of pictures at CHA…so check the blog…you will feel like you are right here. 😉

  • BrandyW

    22 July, 2006 at 9:13 pm Reply

    We DVR LOST each week. I am addicted. I have checked out all the coolie LOST websites and am looking forward to a new season. Be sure to get caught up before the new fall season. Enjoy your “down” time.

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