you know how you have those mental milestones- like… if i can just get through "xyz", i'll be 'home free'..? well, Oct 1st was my 'home free' date. septemeber was one of my fullest months [work-wise + family-wise] i have had in a long time. it was crazy. it was one of those months were you just had to take one day at a time and hope for the best…
creative escape*My Craft Channel*big China trip for Eric*first day of school* develop new line for 2012*scrapfest*HSN*work on MPS GIVE*cam's race*YUDU fest…4 weeks, 4 states, meetings, planning, lists, conf calls, sleepless nights, ideas, exhaustion, and a root canal. and yay- the dreaded Sept. is over! while it was a crazy, overwhelming month- it was productive, and successful and it's over! i think that i have had my eye on that end-of-the-month so that i would feel a huge sence of relief…but actually, i think i just finally allowed myself to start thinking about all the things i didn't/couldn't think about until i was done with Sept, and home from HSN! i was so looking foward to a day or 2 DOWN- relaxed…basking in the glory of accomplishment and all the line items checked off…and alas, i didn't feel it. and it kinda depressed me. last week i felt so tired, and foggy- i felt like a muttled mess. i was doing good to get kids to school and clothes washed, remember where i parked, etc. So not only did my kids have a crazed mother for a month, now that it was 'over', i was a wreck.
i gave myself a few days last week to slow down. lowered everyone's expectations; as well as my own- and just tried to reel it back in. i am starting to feel better- starting to feel the fog lift, and some energy coming back into my body- and coherent thoughts starting to replace muttled, irrational, fragments of predominantly negative notions that have been dragging me down.
then today- oct 1, i headed up the canyon to our family cabin for the afternoon- i had a few extra kids, a loaf of bread, pb&j and nothing else to do today- the drive up the canyon alone was a refreshing, inspiring gift! you can't believe the colors unless you see them yourself. as i drove and looked at the amazing colors- and thought about the amazing process of the most beautiful change that happens this time of year- it's like a most spectacular grand finale of summer- all i could think of was how brilliant the Lord was when he planned that stunning display of fall gradure and the tremendous blessing of change. the hour drive up and again back down gave me a much needed opportunity to reflect and contemplate my NOW. To let go of some things, and embrace others. to know that there are cycles- and there is something wonderful and beautiful in each and every one of those cycles. and that within those cycles comes the opportunities to grow and learn. not a day is wasted, no risk taken goes un-learned-from… even when you hit a wall.
how grateful i was today for the simplicity of being a mom and aunt. having fun- and enjoying one of my favorite places on earth. it filled me up in a way that i really needed to be filled. in a way that not even a massage or a nap could have… (while either of those would be nice!) just feel so grateful that it's October. it's so beautiful here right now- don't want to miss a thing.